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About Susan Goldfein

Born and raised in New York City, Susan currently splits her time between Florida and Connecticut. She lives with her husband, and the world’s cutest dog, Sam, a rough-coat Russell Terrier. Susan gives her audiences a sideways view of life on a range of relatable topics. Whether skewering marriage, growing older, fashion, the media, politics, or money matters, her light touch keeps people laughing – and thinking.

Virtual Assistance

            I was at my local beauty salon the other day hoping for a magical transformation via a much-needed haircut.  Soft jazz music was playing in the background as the stylist began snipping away at my neglected “do.”  Suddenly, she called out “Alexa, turn up the volume,” and voila, the music got louder.  A few

By |2022-01-15T14:45:25+00:00January 15th, 2022|Categories: Technology|4 Comments

A Room of One’s Own

(with apologies to Virginia Woolf) In 1928, in a lecture at Oxbridge, Virginia Woolf stated that in order for a woman to write (fiction) “a woman must have money and a room of one’s own.”  The financial aspect was to provide a woman with a degree of independence, and the room to provide a space

By |2021-12-16T14:48:28+00:00December 16th, 2021|Categories: Housekeeping|10 Comments

Want to Add Years to Your Life? Try Complaining.

What a great time to be a professional complainer.  Like myself.  And to have written a how-to book about the subject, which will, no doubt, be catapulted to the best seller list due to a recent article in The New York Times. Nearly 10 years into my third-act career and I have finally been validated. 

By |2021-10-31T13:31:39+00:00October 31st, 2021|Categories: Kvetching|1 Comment

In the Beginning……

There is a consensus among linguists that the English language is weird.  (Well, maybe not all linguists, but two or three, at least.)  That might be because English is like your pet dog if your dog happens to be a mutt.  What makes a mutt weirdly, and wonderfully, unique is that it has borrowed its

By |2021-09-29T13:46:38+00:00September 30th, 2021|Categories: Language|4 Comments

Report Card

I don’t think I’m suffering from paranoia, but I am resolutely convinced that someone from Apple is spying on me.  What other explanation can there be to account for the weekly messages that appear on both my i devices (phone and pad) summarizing my screen time? Not only do these messages mathematically tally my screen

By |2021-09-14T13:51:42+00:00September 15th, 2021|Categories: Technology, Time|2 Comments

Romancing The Crone

This essay originally appeared on September 17, 2015.  I'm pleased to say I'm still standing and embracing the Third Stage of my life! For those of you who have imagined me lounging by the pool for the month of August, that couldn't be further from the truth.  In fact, I've been lounging on my screen

By |2021-08-31T13:50:19+00:00August 31st, 2021|Categories: Aging, Fantasy|4 Comments

Husbands in Cars Going to Costco (with apologies to Jerry Seinfeld)

It is the common wisdom that men, especially men of a certain generation, do not like to shop.  In fact, a British survey of over 2,000 people found that men became bored after only 20 minutes of shopping, while women could go for a full two hours.  This should come as a surprise to no

By |2021-08-14T14:05:45+00:00August 15th, 2021|Categories: Shopping, Spouse|5 Comments
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