I don’t mean to sound presidential, but I do want to be perfectly clear.   I know for a fact that I could have happily lived out the rest of my days without ever having participated in Social Media.

Social Media.  I find the very name a paradox.  Can you imagine anything more antisocial than a system that causes one’s complete attention to be focused on a device screen, to the exclusion of everything and everyone around you?  Hey, watch out for that manhole!

But one must do what one must do, and when I initiated this blog almost 4 years ago, it was recommended that I create a Facebook page to reach a larger audience.  There were hundreds, even thousands, of people out there waiting to “friend” me, hungry for every word I was writing.  I have to admit it has worked, (well, maybe not thousands) and that my heart does beat a little faster when I see another “thumbs up” icon on my site.

But unless you count the fact that I spread happy birthday wishes all over the internet in response so those helpful reminders, posting my essays has been the extent of my social media involvement.  Thus far.

Because now that I have a book, in addition to the blog, perhaps further growth was in order.  So I hired a Growth Professional, who, like my hair stylist, decided it was time for a new look.  The old one was fine, but was a little dated.  Sort of like me.  The situation bore a resemblance to cosmetic surgery, in that neither service was covered by insurance.

HashOf course I wanted to be what was trending.  Who wouldn’t? So when the GP threw out such  seductive terms as “repurposing,”  “branding,” “launching,” I orgasmicly  said “Yes, Yes, Yes!”    But why in heaven’s name do I need an account on Twitter?

Despite receiving no satisfactory response to that last question, I nevertheless found myself logged on to You Tube watching a series of videos which might as well have been labeled “Twitter for Dummies.”

One of the first things I learned is that on Twitter, you do not have “friends.”  You have “followers.”  Having followers certainly does give one a sense of importance.  Look what it did for Jesus.

I also learned that in order to be identified when I tweet, I must have a “handle,” a user name preceded by the @ sign.  And my topic, or what it is I’m tweeting about, must be preceded by #, the icon formerly known as Prince.  I mean, number sign or pound sign, now referred to as a hash tag.

Okay, so I have the basics, and I’m ready to begin.  Now I’ve only to figure out what it is that I want to share with my followers.  What messages do I want to give to the world at large? What essential observation, brilliance, cleverness, wisdom, wit, information, andor significance can I impart in 140 characters or less?  Frankly, I have no idea.

So please indulge me while I run through some practice tweets.

@SusanSays  #DemDebate   Liked Hillary’s outfit.  Does anyone know if she had buccal implants?

@SusanSays   New poopie bags are inferior and have a tendency to tear.  #Dog Park.  Be sure to bring hand wipes.

@SusanSays   #Hash Tag   This symbol would much prefer to be referred to by its other little-known but far more dignified name of “octothorpe.”  The name stems from cartography and means eight villages surrounding a field.  This character is also used

@SusanSays   Check out the new Paul Newman postage stamp.  #Celebrity Postage Stamps.  Bet you’ll wish it wasn’t self-stick!

Hey, that wasn’t so bad.  And I only ran out of characters on one occasion.  Sorry about that.  I hope my tweets were helpful, informative, educational and thought provoking.  And I just loved sharing.

I don’t want to rush into anything, but as soon as I gain some more confidence, I believe I will consider expanding my social media presence.  Instagram or Pinterest?

Or perhaps sites like Tumblr and Flickr, and all the rest of Santa’s reindeer.  Can’t wait to go viral!

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