Today is blog day.  But more importantly, it also happens to be my 40th wedding anniversary, and I have decided to honor the occasion with an essay.  So what you’re about to read will be a little bit funny, a little bit serious, a little bit sentimental, and the rest of it downright mushy!

Given our respective ages, a forty-year marriage might seem nothing to pop a cork about.  Many of our cohorts, some of whom met in first grade while struggling over their Dick and Jane readers, are boasting marriages of nearly 60 years.  Very admirable.  That’s a whole lot of evenings taking out the garbage.

Truth be told, I’ve actually been married longer than 40 years.  So has my husband.  Before we met, each of us had 15 years of conjugal life with another spouse.  So in answer to the question “How long have I been married?” I believe that 55 years is an honest response.  Even convicted felons get credit for time served.

Did you know that the symbol for 40 years of marriage is the Ruby? Neither did I, until a few minutes ago.  Why the Ruby, you might ask? Because “the Ruby represents an internal flame and could be considered a representation of the inner flame of a strong marriage that has lasted 40 years and is still burning.”   What a relief to discover that my inner flame was ignited by romance, devotion and passion, and not indigestion!

(And now for the part that gets a bit more serious, sentimental, mushy.)

During our 40 years of marriage, we have helped each other raise five children, six dogs, and have lived to enjoy five beautiful grandchildren.  We have confronted the turmoil and blessings of mix-and-match households, which now includes in-laws, and have more than earned our T shirts which read “I Survived a Blended Family.”

We have managed several moves and home renovations, the stress of which often had us teetering on the brink.  I mean, what can be more detrimental to a relationship than arguing over where to place a light fixture?

We’ve weathered several career changes, both his and mine, resulting in periods of economic uncertainty, each of which just brought us that much closer.

There have been health scares, including a near-death experience, but fortunately, we’ve been able to come out the other side with smiles on our faces.   And a few more little plastic bottles of pills.

Over the years, we’ve been fortunate to be able to travel quite a bit, which has provided many enlightening experiences and wonderful memories, and happily, not too many instances of lost luggage.

Reflecting on our marriage, I am very grateful.   No one could have been more supportive to me in my second act as a humor writer than my husband.  My web site and two books would not have been possible without his encouragement and his belief in me.  And even more than that, I am grateful that living with him for all these decades has provided me with so much delicious fodder for my essays.

On at least a dozen occasions, I have poked fun at our marital bliss.  Whether it’s the fact that my darling clenches the TV remote as if it was a life line, constantly gives me driving lessons, argues with me about the best way to slice a bagel, or his recent love affair with Costco, a long-term marriage has proven to be an endless source of material.  And while I’ve given him veto power over what gets published, I have to admit he has been a most wonderful sport.

In our younger years, we would often joke about growing old together, and at bedtime placing our dentures side by side in a glass on the nightstand.  Well, implants have shot a hole in that symbolic gesture.  Instead we climb into bed with our respective iPads, and Sam the Dog, and side by side, read ourselves to sleep.   And that’s just perfect.

Do I dare look back and ask the inevitable question: would I do it all over again? I don’t have to fear the answer, because it is “yes.”

So Happy Anniversary my darling.  We may not reach the 60-year mark like some of our friends, but we’re sure not done yet.  And please don’t ever be perfect, because I have many more essays yet to write!


on Thursday, December 10, 2020 at 2:00 PM
at the Kravis Center for the Performing Arts
Meet the Writer – Women’s Book Series
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