Greetings grandparents and other significant others.  It’s that time of year again when colleges and universities fling open their doors and bless us with visits from our young scholars.  And once again I’m here to help in the event that you are fortunate enough to get them to unbend their necks and actually engage in conversation.

Want them to think you’re bussin and have rizz?  Then get busy and start learning the latest GenZ vocabulary.  Below you’ll find this year’s English as a second language multiple choice quiz.  It’s fire!


  1. A Japanese zipper manufacturer
  2. A secret society devoted to wearing pillowcases over their heads
  3. An ad for a speed-reading school
  4. #1, definitely #1

Touch Grass

  1. Stick your hand into a plastic baggie filled with marijuana
  2. Disobey a “Keep Off” sign
  3. Pick up dog poop from your lawn
  4. #2, or maybe #3


  1. Nickname for a former Yankees short stop
  2. Nickname for the rest of the former Yankees short stop’s family
  3. Typo when spelling the name of a fancy hotel
  4. None of the above

Menty b

  1. A new breath mint
  2. Cardi’s second cousin
  3. Something that is inevitable
  4. All of the above


  1. Pird spelled backwards
  2. Opposite of a WetP
  3. A tear in your denim jeans
  4. What the hell is a pird, anyway?

Hits different

  1. A baseball player with an odd swing
  2. An alternative to Billboard’s Top Ten
  3. A boxer with two left hands
  4. Are we there yet?

The ick

  1. A specific ick, as opposed to any old ick
  2. Something you want to scratch after being bitten by a tick
  3. Sound made by a burping clock
  4. #1, I thick

Nepo baby

  1. The result of crossing a Newfoundland dog with a hippo
  2. A child born in Naples
  3. A term of endearment for a Nepo
  4. I’m getting a headache


  1. The number after twensty-nine
  2. Home of a swine named Thir
  3. The state of needing a drink.
  4. Where’s the Advil?


  1. The most expensive gas at the pump
  2. What you pay for a better seat on the plane
  3. Tra’s former husband
  4. None of the above

What the scores mean: 7 – 10, Excellent. You hit different!  4 – 6, Pretty Good – but not quite fire. 0 – 3, definitely not IYKYK!


Want the “real” intended usage? Here it is! IYKYK: If you know, you know.  Touch grass: get a grip, get grounded.  Rizz: having great charisma.  Menty b: Mental breakdown.  Drip: describing an outfit that’s extremely fashionable.  Hits different: significantly better than usual.  The ick: sudden feeling of disgust or revulsion towards a person.  Nepo baby:  gain a job or celebrity due to one’s parent being a celebrity.  Thirsty: Desperately looking for attention.  Extra:  Some who is being overly dramatic.

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