happy-new-year-333459134So, folks, here we are again.  The baby in the top hat, sash, and diaper is once more about to kick the old geezer out of the way, as the number on the calendar changes to 2016.  And with another birthday pending, I hope this image will not become a metaphor for my life!

I’m sure for all of you 2015 had its ups and downs, but overall, I hope you emerged at the top.   And as much as we might tell ourselves that New Year’s Eve is no big deal, just another night, and that Friday will follow Thursday, as in any other week, there is a sense of closure and a new beginning.

Politics has certainly been a highlight of 2015, or should I say lowlight.  Tuning into the Republican debates and Trump tweets has been like binge-watching the Comedy Channel.   And I’m sure we can look forward to much more in 2016.  As for the Democrats, I was starting to give Bernie Sanders some serious consideration.  But now, I can’t be sure that I won’t be getting Larry David.   And if I do, would that be so bad?

On the personal side, my husband and I shall be entering 2016 dog-less.  Our beloved Labs, Bette and Davis, who have been featured in many of my essays, and were the inspiration for my book title, How Old Am I in Dog Years?  both died this year —  Bette in May, at age 15, and Davis just the other day, at age 16 12.  I know we were extremely fortunate to have them for as long as we did.  But they are very missed, and the house is strangely empty.  For now.

And New Year’s resolutions? Fuhgeddaboudit! A complete waste of time and psychic energy.  So instead, last year I made a list of habits I definitely would not change in the coming year.  And I’m proud to say I accomplished every one of them.  Therefore, adhering to the adage you can’t argue with success, I am re-listing.

I present my  personal reforms that will once again NOT happen in 2016.

  • Spend more time at the gym.
  • Eat more vegetables.
  • Give up Cool Whip
  • Lose weight.
  • Shop less.
  • Get more sleep.
  • Organize my drawers and keep them organized.
  • Stop wasting time watching Law and Order
  • Improve at golf.
  • Learn French.
  • Cook at home more often.
  • Always hang up my clothes before I go to bed.
  • Read James Joyce.
  • Wear a bikini.
  • Complete a London Times crossword puzzle.
  • Solve even one clue of a London Times crossword puzzle.
  • Have a neat desk.
  • Never write another critical essay about my husband.

So, whether you’re celebrating tonight in finery, jeans, or pj’s, I want to wish you all a happy, and above all, healthy New Year.  Jokes aside, it is a clean page in a new book, and we should all try to make the most of it.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you again for your support, and ask you to stay tuned in 2016.  There will be a new name, and a new web site coming soon.  A whole new look, but the same old me!

Humor Blogs