He’s ba-a-a-ck!  Baby New Year, that is, this time ringing in, not just a new year, but a whole new decade.  And as we usher in 2020, let’s raise a glass to the ladies. 2020 has been labeled The Year of the Woman, since it commemorates the 100th anniversary of the 19th amendment.   And how appropriate to focus on voting, since, no matter which side of the aisle you’re on, the new year promises to be all about politics.

Can’t say I’m looking forward to an impeachment trial.  I’m just about recovered from the hearings and the migraine resulting from the zealous congressmen who honed their communication skills at the Jim Jordan School of Public Speaking!  But I don’t do politics, so let’s move on.

It’s the morning of the last day of the year so I still have time to squeeze in my final complaints for 2019.  I’ll be brief.  My car was hit by a driver who forgot the meaning of a red light, and will be in the body shop until after the new year.  Two small appliances in my kitchen broke down in succession, threatening the sanctity of breakfast.   But we were saved when, on the second day of Christmas, my true love Amazon gave to me a new coffee maker and juicer.  And finally, three days ago, I caught a cold!

Which brings me to the real purpose of this essay:  my annual year end wrap-up of the 10 stupidest drug names of 2019.  And it was indeed a bountiful year for stupid drug names.  The Big Pharma Scrabble players were in rare form as they concocted high-scoring, unpronounceable letter combinations with which to christen the latest medicines and put my Spell Check on hyper alert.  But alas, not one cure for the common cold among them.

So take the quiz below to determine your Rx IQ, and hopefully, in the New Year, you will not be needing any of them! (For the doubters out there, these names are real!)


  1. Opposite of Nightvigo
  2. Asking someone named David to leave
  3. A song made famous by Harry Belafonte
  4. Not this again!


  1. The third, little known witch from The Wizard of Oz
  2. A clever device to remove fuzz from sweaters
  3. The capital of Germanyta
  4. All of the above.


  1. A water filter for a team of farm animals
  2. The feminine form of Oxbryto
  3. A word attempt by a novice at pig latin
  4. A and B, and possibly C


  1. An animal that eats ants
  2. The opposite of a light veo
  3. A commercial for an Akveo
  4. Are we there yet?


  1. A holy man from Lozyl
  2. To blozyl again
  3. Something you do after you sneezle for the second time
  4. None of the above


  1. A shadow company for Burisma
  2. What you have when your cutting blade snaps
  3. What you get when you cross a NYC borough with Bill Clinton’s home state
  4. Give me a break!


  1. A liberal Hindu religion
  2. The 10th enleta
  3. Atelnex spelled backwards.
  4. I’m getting a headache!


  1. What’s left when part of a Hawaiian beach washes away
  2. A treatment for removing ear wax
  3. An old breakfast cereal with a new name
  4. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.


  1. The latest installment of the never-ending space travel series
  2. A difficult journey traveled by Rozly
  3. A town in Holland
  4. A, b and possibly c


  1. A hot Italian actress
  2. Someone who rents, rather than buys, a Vy
  3. An Eastern European requesting an explanation from Leesi
  4. Thank goodness it’s over!

And the runner ups include:  Xpovio, Skyrizi, Vyndaqel, Nubeqa and Enhertu.

So, how was your Rx IQ? If you have any interest left at all, the real answers are below:

Dayvigo: insomnia; Brilinta: prevent blood clots; Oxbryta: Sickle Cell disease; Adakveo: Sickle Cell disease; Reblozyl: anemia; Brukinsa: lymphoma; Xenleta: pneumonia; Wakix: narcolepsy; Rozlytrek: lung cancer; Vyleesi: female libido disorder

From my family to yours, I want to wish you all a happy, and most important, healthy New Year.  This past year has been good to me and my writing, what with three awards for my latest book, a great write-up in The Palm Beach Post, and a very successful book signing.  For once, I’m not complaining! Again, I gush with thank-yous for your encouraging comments and continued support.  I couldn’t possibly be having this much fun without you!

Humor Blogs