Off with the Old, on with the New….Year that is. And I can’t say I’m sorry to see 2023 ride off into the sunset. Overall, it hasn’t been a great year. Two wars are raging, thousands of people have been displaced, natural disasters have run rampant. 2023 saw record-breaking tornado events, wildfires affecting air quality hundreds of miles away, and the hottest year ever recorded. Here at home, we have a border crisis and a Congress that’s too divided to get anything done. But I don’t do politics, so let’s move on.
On the bright side, 2023 wasn’t all bad. Egg prices dropped back to $2 a dozen (not the organic kind), the US government did not shut down (yet), Taylor Swift and Beyonce were everywhere, a 104-year-old-woman went sky diving, proving that wisdom does not necessarily come with age, the COVID pandemic was officially over, and the stock market ended the year on a high.
And, on another high note, it’s time for my annual year-end wrap-up of stupid drug names. And it was indeed a banner year for stupid drug names. Of the 55 new drugs approved by the FDA during 2023 only two did not present a phonetic challenge. Xs, Ys, Zs and Qs abound, as well as consonant combinations that I fear do not exist in any language on the planet. Choosing a mere 10 for this quiz was daunting. But I challenge you to try your hand at my selection. You need not attempt to say them aloud. To ease you in, I open with a name that is, in fact, a linguistic possibility.
- One of Santa’s helpers named Abrio
- A new room deodorizer developed in Spain
- Illegitimate son of Fabio
- Oh no, not this again!
- A really bad Scrabble hand
- The result of a keyboard that keeps jamming
- A recently discovered lost tribe
- B, definitely B
- A really cool women’s top
- An order for Fab to stop, spoken by an Italian police officer
- An anagram of TABHALAF
- None of the above
- A heretofore undiscovered Hawaiian island
- Something that is a lot less old
- A path to get to Nua
- A or B, definitely not C
- Bren who knows many things
- A new car model introduced by Mercedes
- Tonto’s new sidekick
- I’m getting a headache!
- Rating for a risqué demvy
- The spouse no longer married to Mr. Demvy
- Vy no longer affiliated with a certain political party
- Where’s the Advil?
- Choices on a Chinese menu that uses Roman numerals
- Sixth cousin once removed of a once-popular TV detective
- An old Roman architectural building support
- I like C for this one
- Five consonants in search of a vowel
- A new Manhattan zip code
- A YNY caught between two Zs
- All of the above
- Second cousin to a Ninja
- Joe and Jane, who ran out of space to write their names
- A little-known holiday celebrated between Purim and Flag Day
- Is this almost over?
- What you have to do when the Canal runs dry
- Zevuslif spelled backwards
- A note left for Ezra reminding him that his sports utility vehicle needs gas
- Thank goodness it’s finally done!
And honorable mention goes to Fruzaqla, Bimzelx, Velsipity, and Logtorzi, all of which are causing my Spellcheck a nervous breakdown.
If you have any interest at all, here are the uses for the drugs: Elfabrio: treatment for Fabrys disease; Ojjaara: treatment for a side effect of anemia; Fabhalta: to treat nocturnal hemoglobinuria; Wainua: treat amyloidosis; Brenzavvy: Type 2 diabetes; Xdemvy: blepharitis; Columvi: lymphoma; Zynyz: carcinoma; Joenja: 3-kinase delta syndrome; Filsuvez: epidermolysis bullosa
From my family to yours, I wish you a happy and healthy New Year. I thank you for your continued indulgence. I couldn’t possibly be having this much fun without you. And I leave you with this amusing factoid: today’s date reads like a waltz: 123 123. (12\31\23). This will never happen again!