Off with the Old, on with the New….Year that is.  And I can’t say I’m sorry to see 2023 ride off into the sunset.  Overall, it hasn’t been a great year.  Two wars are raging, thousands of people have been displaced, natural disasters have run rampant.  2023 saw record-breaking tornado events, wildfires affecting air quality hundreds of miles away, and the hottest year ever recorded.  Here at home, we have a border crisis and a Congress that’s too divided to get anything done.  But I don’t do politics, so let’s move on.

On the bright side, 2023 wasn’t all bad.  Egg prices dropped back to $2 a dozen (not the organic kind), the US government did not shut down (yet), Taylor Swift and Beyonce were everywhere, a 104-year-old-woman went sky diving, proving that wisdom does not necessarily come with age, the COVID pandemic was officially over, and the stock market ended the year on a high.

And, on another high note, it’s time for my annual year-end wrap-up of stupid drug names.  And it was indeed a banner year for stupid drug names.  Of the 55 new drugs approved by the FDA during 2023 only two did not present a phonetic challenge.  Xs, Ys, Zs and Qs abound, as well as consonant combinations that I fear do not exist in any language on the planet.  Choosing a mere 10 for this quiz was daunting.  But I challenge you to try your hand at my selection.  You need not attempt to say them aloud.  To ease you in, I open with a name that is, in fact, a linguistic possibility.

ELFABRIO

  1. One of Santa’s helpers named Abrio
  2. A new room deodorizer developed in Spain
  3. Illegitimate son of Fabio
  4. Oh no, not this again!

OJJAARA

  1. A really bad Scrabble hand
  2. The result of a keyboard that keeps jamming
  3. A recently discovered lost tribe
  4. B, definitely B

FABHALTA

  1. A really cool women’s top
  2. An order for Fab to stop, spoken by an Italian police officer
  3. An anagram of TABHALAF
  4. None of the above

WAINUA

  1. A heretofore undiscovered Hawaiian island
  2. Something that is a lot less old
  3. A path to get to Nua
  4. A or B, definitely not C

BRENZAVVY

  1. Bren who knows many things
  2. A new car model introduced by Mercedes
  3. Tonto’s new sidekick
  4. I’m getting a headache!

XDEMVY

  1. Rating for a risqué demvy
  2. The spouse no longer married to Mr. Demvy
  3. Vy no longer affiliated with a certain political party
  4. Where’s the Advil?

COLUMVI

  1. Choices on a Chinese menu that uses Roman numerals
  2. Sixth cousin once removed of a once-popular TV detective
  3. An old Roman architectural building support
  4. I like C for this one

ZYNYZ

  1. Five consonants in search of a vowel
  2. A new Manhattan zip code
  3. A YNY caught between two Zs
  4. All of the above

JOENJA

  1. Second cousin to a Ninja
  2. Joe and Jane, who ran out of space to write their names
  3. A little-known holiday celebrated between Purim and Flag Day
  4. Is this almost over?

FILSUVEZ

  1. What you have to do when the Canal runs dry
  2. Zevuslif spelled backwards
  3. A note left for Ezra reminding him that his sports utility vehicle needs gas
  4. Thank goodness it’s finally done!

And honorable mention goes to Fruzaqla, Bimzelx, Velsipity, and Logtorzi, all of which are causing my Spellcheck a nervous breakdown.

If you have any interest at all, here are the uses for the drugs: Elfabrio: treatment for Fabrys disease; Ojjaara: treatment for a side effect of anemia; Fabhalta: to treat nocturnal hemoglobinuria; Wainua: treat amyloidosis; Brenzavvy: Type 2 diabetes; Xdemvy: blepharitis; Columvi: lymphoma; Zynyz: carcinoma; Joenja: 3-kinase delta syndrome; Filsuvez: epidermolysis bullosa

From my family to yours, I wish you a happy and healthy New Year.  I thank you for your continued indulgence.  I couldn’t possibly be having this much fun without you.  And I leave you with this amusing factoid: today’s date reads like a waltz: 123 123.  (12\31\23).  This will never happen again!

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