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Here’s to Your Health…..

So here we are, on the cusp of a brand new year. There’s a lot to be said about 2017, but I’ve made it a practice to limit the use of four-letter words on my web site. Therefore, I shall let Fox News and CNN continue to battle it out, and direct my comments elsewhere.

I turn my attention instead to lists. Top Ten lists abound at this time of year, hoping to encapsulate all that has occurred in the past 365 days in ranked order. What better time for me to present my personal favorite: the Top Ten dumbest new drug names of 2017.

And Big Pharma did not disappoint. Hundreds of new drugs were launched in the past year, branded once again by people who speak in tongues. And did you think you saw more drug ads on TV in 2017? You were correct. According to The (failing) New York Times, drug companies are spending more on TV advertising (fake news) than ever before.

While Congress still battles over what to repeal and what to replace, let’s be prepared. Take the test below and discover how much you know about the latest pharmaceuticals. Even if you can’t pronounce any of them.


a) A city in Texas somewhere between Austin and Laredo
b) A fancy British sports car
c) Description of Stedo as an alternate universe
d) Is this covered by Medicare?


a) Another fancy sports car, this one made in Germany
b) The secret ingredient in paint remover
c) Nidazole that belongs to Ben
d) If you can say it, you don’t need it


a) Precedes Enflaza on an alphabetical list
b) A book title wisely discarded by Jane Austen
c) Italian dental floss
d) All of the above


a) A little more than one percent
b) A new fastener for false teeth
c) A person who tries to fool a Xent
d) None of the above


a) What? Another foreign auto?
b) One possible response to “How are you?”
c) Stupid drug quizzes that never seem to end
d) A and C, possibly B


a) What you get when you eat too many Kyms
b) Yiddish\English expression used for summoning
c) A fire-breathing she monster
d) Some of the above


a) An instruction to grammatically dissect a biv
b) Vibasrap spelled backwards
c) The nickname for scratch golfer Sabiv
d) I think I’m getting a headache


a) A plant that attracts xats
b) A brief but refreshing sleep
c) Batman’s arch enemy
d) I definitely have a headache


a) An entire generation on pot
b) A sugary food product
c) Ermelo’s estranged spouse
d) I can’t take much more


a) A royal who followed Mepse Vi
b) One who is good at reading meps
c) How Psevii responded to Tarzan
d) Are we there yet?

And no list would be complete without Nerlynx, Mavyret, Kisqali, Idhifa, and Zejula. I’m not making these up. If I may quote #45: “Believe me.”

From my family to yours, I want to wish you all a very happy, and most important, healthy New Year. I thank you profusely for your encouraging comments and continued support. I couldn’t possibly be having this much fun without you!

By | 2017-12-31T14:32:55+00:00 December 28th, 2017|Categories: Advertising, Health, Medicine|14 Comments

About the Author:

Born and raised in New York City, Susan currently splits her time between Florida and Connecticut. She lives with her husband, and the world’s cutest dog, Sam, a rough-coat Russell Terrier. Susan gives her audiences a sideways view of life on a range of relatable topics. Whether skewering marriage, growing older, fashion, the media, politics, or money matters, her light touch keeps people laughing – and thinking.


  1. Judy Czubati December 31, 2017 at 2:19 pm - Reply

    Drug Company executives are obviously doing a bit of testing of their own products.

    • Ed Katz December 31, 2017 at 4:52 pm - Reply

      LOL! Yes- it certainly appears they are!

  2. Helaine Tankell December 31, 2017 at 9:58 pm - Reply

    Thanks for a year of smiles, nodding in agreement, thoughtful fun, and a break from the “news of the day”. Have a beautiful, healthy and happy 2018 with your family and friends.

    • Susan Goldfein January 6, 2018 at 4:40 pm - Reply

      Same to you Helaine. And thanks for your support. It means a lot.

  3. gail January 1, 2018 at 12:42 am - Reply

    and a most happy and health new year to you, Larry and your whole family!…..gail and bob

  4. Carol M January 1, 2018 at 3:58 pm - Reply

    Happy and Healthy New Year to you and yours, Susan, and thanks for letting me begin 2018 with lots of laughter! This one was brilliant!
    Carol M.

    • Susan Goldfein January 6, 2018 at 4:40 pm - Reply

      Same to you Carol. Thanks for being a fan. It means a lot.

  5. Sheila Marks January 1, 2018 at 8:24 pm - Reply

    A very happy New Year to you and yours. I do look forward to your blog every month, and often, if not always agree with you. Sheila (your neighbor. . .really.)

    • Susan Goldfein January 6, 2018 at 4:39 pm - Reply

      Thanks Sheila. I believe you’re my neighbor…really.

  6. Pina Velandia January 8, 2018 at 8:09 am - Reply

    Happy and healthy New Year so you can keep us laughing.

    • Susan Goldfein January 8, 2018 at 2:47 pm - Reply

      Same to you and John. And I’ll try my best!

  7. Dayle Herstik January 19, 2018 at 1:11 am - Reply

    Your presentation at today’s Pen Women luncheon was delightful. Thanks for an hour of chuckles and laugh out loud stories.
    Best wishes for continued success.
    Dayle Herstik

    • Susan Goldfein January 19, 2018 at 3:09 pm - Reply

      Thank you Dayle. I had fun as well. You’re a great group!

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